First of all Happy Birthday. 26, eh? You’re getting on a bit. Too old for this cricket lark, anyway. You shouldn’t be running around taking a hat-trick at the Gabba on your 26th birthday. Where’s that going to get you? Sure, you’ve got the adulation of your nation, you’ve destroyed the myth that this English team is any good and booked a place in Ashes history but what use is any of that?
I’ll tell you what I did on my 26th birthday. I was on a management training course in Milton Keynes. That’s right. Thinking outside the wine-box about innovative retail strategies. Your 6-54 isn’t looking so smart now is it?
You’ve got to look long term, Peter. Think about 10 years today – 25th November 2020. Where you will you be then? I know where I’ll be. You’ll probably be back at the Gabba, having some sort of 10 year on celebration lunch with loads of Krug watching Australia crush England once again, and then head back to a penthouse apartment with a handful of wannabe Home and Away starlets for a coke-fuelled orgy.
Not me, sonny. Not me.
I’ll be in a freezing cold office in the UK, wishing the cricket score was wrong, trying to reinvent the tent card and sending out pointless samples to out of date washed up journos.
I think we both know who the loser is in this situation, Pete.