***Rated PG – contains scenes which may cause distress to some readers***
Its habitat now limited to the sun-baked suburbs of Melbourne and Sydney, this species has been hunted down cruelly by a man with a huge jaw, a guy wearing mascara and some South African prat. Its situation is now dire – it is in serious danger of extinction!
These upsetting pictures show the extent of the damage done by the aggressors:
Please don’t leave them to suffer. They desperately need your help. You can do your bit to save this poor, endangered creature – the Australian test cricketer. Please dig deep!
Send all donations (and offers of real cricket) to
Status is as follows:
Agents Twat, Kat, Pup and Muss have attempted a comeback.
Computer registers that had they not completely failed in the first innings, this might be game on.
Agent P failed. Again.
Computer is sending a mail bomb.
Mission status – too little too late
Opposition status – bastards
Computer is ashamed to admit she is counting on bad weather to save the operation.
Computer is not ashamed to admit she dislikes Oppostion Agent Massive Jaw even more than ever.
Blog posts by Kirby of Thoughts from the Dustbin